God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
