Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
