I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
