a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
