Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
