Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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