that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
