I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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