playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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