I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
