im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
