He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My ass is underappreciated
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
