singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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