Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
