Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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