Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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