I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
