OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
