You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
