We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
