now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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