wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
