I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
