was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
