garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
