I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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