Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
