I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
