every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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