Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
