haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
