She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
