Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
