I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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