that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Boobs speak an international language.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
