Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
