you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
