I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
