Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
youre lurking in front of me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
