After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
