I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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