apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
