we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
