we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she told me i tasted like america
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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