My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
