You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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