i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
