I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
