HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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