no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
