Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
