Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
